Yep. I should have consulted The Teens before I attempted to get on Twitter again. I say, “again” because I’ve been there. Done that. And hated it.
I’m just not a Tweeter. Do people even say that?
However, the other night I suddenly decided that since all of the other Parade peeps have Twitter accounts, I needed one, too. So I sat down and tried to reactivate my previous account. But there, with my name, was some young imposter locked to a private account. Wha?!
Okay, so maybe I did deactivate it more than a year ago, leaving my name unprotected—a moniker that is one of the most common on earth. So, sighing, I clicked the proper buttons to sign up again and thus began the hysterically arduous process of choosing a new username. After inserting every version of Katie D. Anderson I could think of, I tried at least twenty more including:
Finally, I typed the words “lasttry,” laughing like a crazy person attempting to break into a bank. Or a hacker, desperately trying to reconfigure her own account.
But @lasttry was taken. Seriously.
With nothing left to lose, I did the unthinkable and typed @oldperson into the blinking box, deciding to own the title. Heck. My fingers have been feeling arthritic lately, not to mention that I’m sitting here at 42 trying to rejoin Twitter.
That stupid name was taken, too! (Sorry @oldperson. Truth: if you didn’t own it, I would have taken it.)
But check this out. Also taken were the names: imataloss, thisiscrazy, and notmeanttobe.
I am not kidding. There are people on Twitter with those handles.
After more than an hour of trying names, my reunion with the social media giant was indeed “notmeanttobe.” I admit. I was relieved. I’m terrible at it, remember? What was I thinking? But right before I signed off forever I scanned the accounts of my daughters’ teenaged friends and noticed the use of the almighty underscore. I can hear them saying, “Miss Katie, if you can’t get @katiedanderson, you should try @_katie_d_anderson_.”
Yep, I should have gotten the assistance of a teenager. But now I’m tired and even if @_katie_the_writer_ is still available, I’m not sure I want it.
So please…. if you feel so inclined. Come visit me on FACEBOOK. I have nice large porch with many delightful friends. And I promise to interact sometimes while I rethink this whole Twitter thing.
Katie D. Anderson is the wife of a sports fanatic, the mother of two teenage girls, and the author of the young adult novel, Kiss & Make Up. When she’s not writing, she can be found playing tennis, cooking something southern, or folding laundry—a never-ending nightmare.